Transcript Edit

Editing room: Ok, our delay will be still-snap so we are going to have to do it live. 3, 2, 1, go!

Caller: [typing]

Host: Welcome to the top of the hour. Now, I'm sure many of you have heard these rumors coming out of L.A. It sounds like absolute mayhem! You've got blackouts, communication outages, and of course these sightings of god-knows-what! Well, we are going to let you in on a little secret here, ok? Because our sources, our sources in the Pentagon, have confirmed for us what happened, what really happened.

Caller: [simultaneous] This is amazing. We are patching through the entire phone bank.

H: The system is called Fata Morgana, and the Pentagon has been working on it for years. What it does is quite simply this: It projects images onto the sky.

E: [simultaneous] term-check: it's sci-ops. Keep it authorative!

C: [simultaneous] Ok, we are set. Now we just wait for them to open the door.

H: Now, Imagine being able to project a thousand bombers onto the skies above an enemy city. It's called psychological warfare people. Breaking the enemies will to fight without firing a single shot. Now, our sources say, what happened in L.A. was a test, an unauthorized test. But, we believe, we believe that this may have been the greatest prank in the history of mankind. We believe that somebody in the Pentagon used this Fata Morgana to project images of UFOs, so that L.A. could show us once and for all just how truly insane a place it really is.

C: [simultaneous] Leave it running. Pull everybody out, and flag this safehouse as being blown.

H: But there is more. Our sources confirm that this Fata Morgana device dissappeared shortly after the test. Go figure! Disappeared, as in stolen. And this is why the government has locked down the entire L.A. basin. This device is worth billions, and we can't let anybody get their franny(?) little hands on it. So today's big question is: Is there intelligent life in L.A. ?

E: [simultaneous] Going to callers in three. All lines are green.

E: [simultaneous] Ok, that last bit was not in my briefing paper. We can't just go.

C: This is a warning. In the last 24 hours, you may have seen heavy movement of federal emergency forces into the Los Angeles Area. These forces have already assumed control of several military facilities. They seized broadcast centers, electrical power stations, and other key infrastructure. The have This is not about any device. The plan that is being executed today, has been in play for a long time. If you, or anyone you know, is offered protection or declared a National Security Asset... you need to run. There are others. Find us. We will help you. This won't be allowed to happen.

H: [simultaneous] What the hell is this? [pause] I'm sorry people, we are obviously having some kind of technical problem, hanging up the phone. [pause] Please bear with us, we will find out who is responsible for this act of vandalism.

E: There, we are off air.

H: What? Well, thank took you long enough.

E: No, it wasn't me...

[fades out into noise]

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